Reality check.

The Myth

There are people who are successful professionally while managing a food blog, volunteering at the animal shelter, and mastering ballroom dance. Assume you are not one of those people. Balance, in my view, is largely a myth when establishing your career. The slope of the trajectory for your career is (unfairly) set the first five years post-graduation. If you want the trajectory to be steep, you’ll need to burn a lot of fuel. The world is not yours for the taking, but for the trying.

Try hard, really hard.

I have a lot of balance now. It’s a function of the lack thereof in my twenties and thirties. Other than business school, from 22 to 34, I remember work and not much else. The world does not belong to the big, but to the fast. You want to cover more ground in less time than your peers. This is partially talent, but mostly endurance. My lack of balance as a young professional cost me my marriage, my hair, and arguably my twenties. And it was worth it.

Continue reading “Reality check.”

Lessons from you.

Bubi,

It’s normal to be scared. You are going through a phase of your life where you start making decisions with an impact on yourself and the people around you autonomously.

This little monster is called adulthood and even though I am never going to admit it even when I will be 50, both of us are adults.

At the beginning it’s scary but later will become more and more normal and the choices we will make will be even bigger and more impactful.

Also with time passing, you are going to build your certainties and the foundation for future decisions. You are going to be more aware about what you want, you are going to have more clarity on your objectives and on the people surrounding you in your life.

It’s ok to be sad, but don’t let sadness take away from you the moments you spend with the people you love, live those to the fullest and enjoy them as much as it’s possible.

Bacini

Dread.

A week before my flight to Canada, my boyfriend asked me how excited I was.

I told him I was scared.

How was that possible? In two flights, I would be back in the house I grew up in, the city where I had most of my ‘firsts’, and most importantly, surrounded by the people I love the most – some I hadn’t seen for over two years.

That scared me.

It scared me to think about the wash of emotions walking through my neighborhood, sleeping in my own bed, eating my mom’s home cooked food. It’s even scarier to think about what will happen when I have to say goodbye to it all over again. Will I be able to?

How can I leave? How can I return to a place where my core support system is not present?

I made the choice two years ago. I made the commitment to challenge myself because I was fed up with the ‘me’ of 2015, I wasn’t improving and I felt stagnant. And in order to better myself, I had to leave my comfort zone – by about 11,628 km.

And now here I am, staying up because I know once I close my eyes, there will only be one more day left. 24 hours left in a place where my best friends party on weekends, where my mother patiently practices oil painting on Fridays and nags me to wear slippers, where my brother eats junk food and where my sweet childhood memories linger.

This place is my foundation and there is comfort in knowing that this won’t change.

See you later Toronto, I promise I’ll be back before you realize I’m gone and I’ll be bringing back some goodies.

Why do people get married?

I have a friend in office, a very philosophical guy, he never married.
He is still single. Though he fell in love once, he couldn’t commit to the girl. She finally left him.

He once said, ”Aditya, if she really loved me, she would not need an invisible string of marriage to hold on to me. The fact that she needed one suggests that she couldn’t love me enough to make it work without one.”

I thought about this, not for hours but for days, just when I was on the verge of believing this theory, something happened, something very bad. Continue reading “Why do people get married?”

The “Nice Guy” Excuse

This dating game is far too complicated for me and i’m getting annoyed with it. As a heterosexual male, who’s been told by more than one person that i’m too nice, and it turns women off, how do I become a mean asshole who somehow becomes desirable for women?

The answer on Quora:  

Please tell these immature peers of yours that they can take their opinions and stick it somewhere where the sun don’t shine. Continue reading “The “Nice Guy” Excuse”