Alright, secret’s out. I have larger than average sized breasts for Asian females, which is an A cup. Yes, I will be mature about this while your brain starts to conjure up images of all the Asian chicks you know. When I hit puberty in grade 8, I didn’t know my body was changing until a boy pointed to my chest and said: “whoa, where did those come from?“. Since then, I’ve had to undergo relentless boob joke after boob joke because I’m a Chinese girl with an abnormal chest size. Enough with the ogling, let’s get this rant rolling:
1. Did you get a boob job???
You’d be amazed at how many people have asked me if I’ve gotten plastic surgery to enhance my size. The answer is no, I did not insert a pack of silicone into my boobies and no, I will not let you cope a feel if you don’t believe me.
2. Clothes don’t fit
Asian females naturally have petite frames so when I was shopping in China/Korea for tops, the sleeves and length would be perfect but my chest got flattened to pancakes. And forget trying to find a bra in their stores because they don’t carry sizes higher than a C. Sorry, but these puppies need to breathe.
3. Got it from your momma?
“Oh, that makes sense. You probably inherited them from your mom right?” Greaaaaaat, now I have to imagine my mom’s bra size? Let me attribute it to my insane eating while I was a kid. All the fat went to my thighs, hips and chest while my limbs became malnourished looking.
4. Boob grabbing
Yes, I have been assaulted by my dearest of friends. I also have a fear of wearing low cut shirts or triangle bikini tops because they offer almost no coverage or protection from restless hands. Hands off please and thank you.
5. Hitting on the bouncer
Apparently bigger breasts give you the ability to seduce like a vixen. But this isn’t the case with the seductively awkward like myself. If your girls want to get into the club or really hope for more sweet potato fries in the basket, it’s up to you to squeeze your arms together for ample cleavage and hope for the best.
6. Bra size comparisons
If there’s another Asian sista in the room, it’s almost guaranteed that someone will compare their cup sizes. It’s not a contest people, letting the whole world know our chest circumference isn’t exactly at the top of our list. Not cool.
7. Brings all the boys to the yard
Forget your personality, nice smile, or quirky humour because the reason guys like you is all thanks to your melons. This is not the case at all but you’ll hear it over and over and over.