Last Friday was a first of many. A weekend out with my older brother, singing along to a set where I knew 90% of the lyrics, and finding a great nook on Queen St that was broadcasted to the world. It was also a first because my brother opened up to me about his personal life. Yes, it took an abrupt end to his 3 year relationship for this moment to happen but I’m glad it happened. Was I ready for this new share and tell of feeling exchange? I don’t think I could ever prepare emotionally for it in advance.
I was hoping this experience was going to bring a bit of his spunk back. Tasty hors d’oeuvres, open bar, Kiehl’s samples, pubescent preteen memories, what’s not to love? It’s kinda funny but not funny how the songs were all relatable to his situation because I could feel his misery elevate at times or diminish a smidgen. I realized later that night, sipping my Rose Green Tea across from him, that there is no right thing to say to someone in depression. No magical words to lift the fog, your presence is enough.
How Simple Plan song titles explained my brother’s heartbreak to a tee and why the show must still go on:
“Welcome to my life”
Yes, it’s your life and right now you wish it could all be different. You desperately want a new perspective and fresh scenery. Change doesn’t happen with the snap of your fingers but it can start with inviting people to your life. Welcome people who love you and add good vibes to your life.
I’d give away a thousand days to get another one with you. I remember every word you said, we were never going to say goodbye.
He didn’t want her to leave but she did and she found another guy to help her move on. Thinking about your ex is a highway straight to a dark funk that’s hard to shake off. If you catch yourself reminiscing, think instead of…cheese or a funny Youtube video (Buzzfeed rocks my world).
“Loser of the Year”
I’m nothing if I don’t have you. Without you here, I’m loser of the year.
Being single sucks. You’re learning to readjust to coming home to an empty room, to washing one pair of chopsticks, and to making your decisions solely for you. Take this time to be selfish and seek answers. You don’t owe them anything so do you.
“I’m just a Kid”
When you’re spending all your days alone. Life is a nightmare.
You were whole before you met them and you’re still whole even when they’re gone. Every day might seem bleak but the haze will diminish. Nightmares all end sooner or later. Forever is not an option.
Can anybody hear me? My mind is running empty. I’m lonely like a satellite…Can I please come down.
It feels like no one can understand you and you’re not sure what steps to take next. It’s like a never ending cycle of questions, doubts and uncertainty. I think it’s safe to say that this is life. Keep walking, it doesn’t matter what direction. Just keep walking forward.
I love you big brother, more than words could ever express. You’ll get through this.